Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Eileen Chang's fractured legacy

Might as well catch up on some reading since there is no work today.

Eileen Chang and Hu Lancheng

The question I had after reading the article is what are the agendas of contemporary non-mainland Chinese writers anyway? (Other than unconsciously going around parading fatalism as a 'universal insight')

Water in the car

There is water in my car... fantastic! I always wanted one of those flash floods...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Gurkhas

11:30 PM

me: Gurkhas fight for the Crown dude, not the Légion Étrangère

basti: They fight for FFL, too. Though I'd rather fight for the crown than the republic, myself. I'd rather die for a man of divine patronage than some nasty politician. They are both going to send me into danger for some secretly selfish reason. I'd rather have the pretense of religion on my mind than a depressing realisation of democratic executive malfeasance. Thankfully, my birth nation has yet to reject its colonial past. But, unfortunately, the royalty are all completely useless.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

While talking about destiny...

9:57 PM
V: a feeling of destiny is terrible
what a miserable existence

me: a life without purpose is miserable

V: sure
but these two do not span the space of all lives
there is a very healthy and pleasant middle ground between living under the burden of some oppressive, nationalistic destiny and living as an empty, nihilist

me: yes, I never said the destiny is oppressive

V: a lot of it seems to come out that way
like all these myths of japanese and korean exceptionalism
i think the west has a strong drive for positive self-improvement
i think this results in people living very contented and fulfilling lives

me: what is that drive?

V: i don't knko0w

me: many have said it originated from its religion

V: at some point, yes
But I don't think modern, American manifestations of organised religion have any aspect of real self-improvement.
Those movements have been poisoned by politics.
It's all a mess of identity and reactionism and political machinations.

me: so what is the wellspring of the west's contemporary culture?

V: Wasn't the Enlightenment particular in its appeal to more rational, humanistic modes?
Like, without some explicit religious motiviation.
I do not deny that religion can be a powerful force, and, as I said before, I really do enjoy stories about its transformative effects.
Like the Bible stories I have shared with you - I really get a lot of inspiration from some of these.

me: I've come to understand the enlightenment and liberal humanism as a gradual evolution of science, commerce, government, and philosophy when they are mobilized toward improving and extending human life
but much of that original impetus has vanished

V: I think that people in the US, for all of their angst, are often still many times better off than people elsewhere.
It was interesting, though - I was reading this blog of this TW girl I barely know, and it almost had developmental and social angst as an aesthetic.

me: pretty pedestrian these days

V: Yeah, but it's particular manifestation here was interesting.

V: The author was talking about this frustration in building herself into some idealisation of (Western) modernity, but my impression of her in person is that this was just purely an aesthetic.

It's true that we already see a lot of sad poets. But here, it was, like, extending this to less emotional and more ideological issues. Like, feminist angst as an aesthetic. Talking about wanting to be a professional woman and wanting to develop ones self along these related axis but as just a stance or appeal to some social expectation. As though these expressions were just appeasing some sense that that's what you're supposed to want and be like. But there is no real substance, much less follow-through, to either the expression or the social expectation.

It's like - all of these modernisation complaints we may level against TW - if these had then become incorporated into the TW psyche as self-excoriations, but merely as an affected aesthetic.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Friday, April 03, 2009

Putting the past behind

11:16 PM

basti: you also probably need to free yourself from your own history. Like that quote from the “18th Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte.”

me: which says what?

basti: Die Tradition aller toten Geschlechter lastet wie ein Alb auf dem Gehirne der Lebenden. History of past generations weighs like a nightmare on the minds of the living.

basti: I think your sense of history tortures you unnecessarily... I don't know why you let it, and I suspect much of this is a result of a poorer interpretation of history. But a constant retardant is this recognition of your past enthusiasm and ambition. When you were, like, five. And there are also probably many issues stemming from this idealisation of this time period.

basti: I barely remember anything of myself at that age. I do recall myself at older ages, and I think it's been mostly a progress of growth since then.

me: our experiences shape our character

basti: There are also biological differences. But, yes, of course. But I think modern culture is very optimistic. We hope that our experiences should not inhibit us from leading the fullest of lives. The individual has so much value.
We don't tend to repeat these old stories of the damaged and disposable victim.
(Except maybe, like, “Dexter.”) Certainly not the, ‘Oops! Five years old, and I just lost my ambition. Well, that's it for my life!’

basti: Maybe you're just spoilt.

me: possibly. what is the cure for that? aside from backbreaking manual labor

basti: I don't know what the cure for being spoilt is.