What a horrible movie. It just goes against those of us who read the book(s), the comics and watched the TV series countless times since we were young. Zhao Zilong looks 20 years too old, Guan Yu sounds like he is 20 years too young, and Zhang Fei is more suitable as a Hello Kitty decoration with puppy eyes on the eve of battle. And where the fuck is Zhao Yun's sword Green Destiny, grabbed from the scabbard of his enemies even as he cuts them down on horseback? Where is the dignity when Guan Yu is sent in on foot like some foot soldier, without utilizing the reach of his Green Dragon Halberd?
Frankly, I prefer my classical Chinese literature archetypes served cold. All of this overwrought humanizing pastiches such as Guan Yu teaching kids to read classical poetry and Liu Bei making shoes is just an insult to the intelligence of an average reader. Reading The Three Kingdoms is not meant to be an exercise in getting your daily feel good about how people are perfect.
Part of reading an epic is to hold up an mirror and discover the flaws and hubris in the alter egos of our past. To that extend the best performance in the movie is the believably maniacal Cao Cao. What is so disappointing about the movie is that it reflects more of the taste of an uncultivated mass audience rather than convey with any authenticity a great story.
Think I will go back and watch a few episodes of the TV series again, maybe then I'll calm down a little and stop cursing this mentally challenged movie.
9/29/2008 The sheer amount of lipstick feminism really depresses me. If they are looking for strong female protagonists they really need to read George R. R. Martin. One of the greatest stories never told, as in hinted at, is the tourney at Harrenhal where Rhaegar crowned Lyanna the Queen of Beauty.
If a woman like Lyanna exists in this world, I would give her my heart and soul.
