One of my friends was annoyed by the inanity of some people's advice. Specifically, the advice to "just be yourself" that, although maybe sound at its core, comes across so facile as to be irresponsible. Obviously, people are themselves, and if they don't have a problem as they are then there would be no need for advice.
The problem is not so much with being yourself as with its presentation.
My friend illustrates this dilemma by the way of bringing up a person our age who told everyone how she felt as though she is a child of the 1950s, and watching shows like Mad Men fills her with a sense of nostalgia. Knowing me, my friend said I would have ridiculed her, on the ground that she romanticized the time period and so on, and it would have made me a misanthrope.
I can see both happening, one as the consequence of the other so I didn't disagree. But even our own actions are capable of betraying our underlying beliefs. My friend said what is readily lost in translation in my immediate reaction is my sense of wonder of the contemporary era, and my optimism in man's progress. Those would have been closer to my personality.
Our outward presentation is thought to be set in stone, immutable (but a devastating refutation to this thesis is that since this post's publication, I've edited it at least fifteen times). Often, a person must reconcile the past with the present. This is where we have problem with presenting ourselves. A moment in time against an eternity of changes.
I don't believe there is a simple advice to the issue of self presentation. And my friend said mastery of it is not where we begin, and perhaps not where we will ever reach. 12/29/2009
